Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
