My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
