C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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