i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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