Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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