Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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