Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
