Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
is wine microwaveable?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
