Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
