apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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