You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
