no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
