I hate your face
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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