Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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