Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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