Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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