I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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