remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
