you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
