i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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