Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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