This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
