i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
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I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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