i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
