Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
