Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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