There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
