Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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