I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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