OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
