Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
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