you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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