I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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