Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
