When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked