I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN