I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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