Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P

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  (334): I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is (1-334): I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P http://tfl.nu/fyjw
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (638)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll

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  (248): Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll http://tfl.nu/ubae
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (821)
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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4357) Bad night (487)
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  (619): View more from California

  That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...

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  (619): That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop... http://tfl.nu/9vfi
  Replies (3) Good night (2521) Bad night (449)
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  (650): View more from California

  im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt

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  (650): im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt http://tfl.nu/myrk
  Replies (35) Good night (605) Bad night (4429)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.

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  (902): The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling. http://tfl.nu/4suj
  Replies (6) Good night (623) Bad night (3535)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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  (401): So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar http://tfl.nu/20ke
  Replies (6) Good night (2411) Bad night (862)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.

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  (774): and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date. http://tfl.nu/kedp
  Replies (15) Good night (3270) Bad night (837)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The beers last night were like the tears from god

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  (561): The beers last night were like the tears from god http://tfl.nu/bni8
  Replies (5) Good night (1867) Bad night (654)
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  (909): View more from California

  I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not

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  (909): I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not http://tfl.nu/br11
  Replies (10) Good night (1499) Bad night (675)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

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  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1613) Bad night (743)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.

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  (914): Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade. http://tfl.nu/3ila
  Replies (3) Good night (1310) Bad night (408)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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  (224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (293)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"

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  (814): He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe. (814): All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins" http://tfl.nu/wnoe
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (255)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.

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  (304): One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both. http://tfl.nu/pmax
  Replies (0) Good night (560) Bad night (229)

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