There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
