i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
