He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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