I think i peed on brittanys purse
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
