i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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