Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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