Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
