There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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