im six kinds of drunk right now
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
