When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
