Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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