before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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