I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
