I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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