Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
