you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
