It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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