nut hugger
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
