...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
