Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
