we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
