There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
