how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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