He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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