Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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