Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
