Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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