If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
