it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
