Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
