just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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