grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
