Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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