Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize