...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
