How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
